Sometime in the peak of the flash all these played through in a wir-click-wir:
SSSStarted well...
The End 17:46 The Doors
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Amethyst Deceivers 6:33 COIL
Oh Yeah 7:19 CAN
Guru Song 2:49 Amorphous Androgynous
Suicide 11:03 Spacemen 3
higher than the sun (tone396 mix) 5:55 primalscream
Transcendental 4:46 The Shamen
...and the Day turned to Night 19:57 Shpongle
Astral Cave 6:46 Entheogenic
Blood From The Air 5:32 COIL --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
but between these lines the weirdest experience ever: the experience of total clarity and total normality: I felt like anything weird or odd in any way was intensely annoying and uneccesary, as if simple, cast-iron normality was something to be treasured... weird music was especially, almost criminally annoying; I wanted desperately some dull music..
In a terrible Conradian moment I started to hallucinate that maybe I wanted to go see KT Tunstall at the Palace, Bridgwater after all...
Then... to spill myself back in there was a period of slight stasis:
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One Perfect Sunrise 8:44 Orbital
AB/7A 4:29 Throbbing Gristle
Funtime 3:27 Danielle Dax
Magick Mother Invocation 2:06 Gong
Smile Around The Face 4:34 Four Tet pm
What You Waiting For (Jacques Lu Cont's IWD Mix) 4:58 Gwen Stefani
A.Y.O.R 3:11 Coil
The Seams Of GoodWill 10:30 The (Other) Door
Are We Here 15:31 Orbital Snivilisation
Where Even The Darkness Is Something To See 3:05 COIL
Running, Returning 4:33 Akron/Family
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During which there appeared a slight loose tendril of uncertainty again - though by now I'd convinced myself that I'd taken everything I could from the stupidly named journeeeeeeeee and that this was as far as it ever gets.
One thing though: I finally figured out that my fascination wiht psychedelics comes from needing an UnReality Check - that I really am more normal than everyone else that I'm missing hang-ups and fuck-ups and personal detritus which normally keep everyone interested in their own psyches... - they are a way to understand what it must be like to WORRRRRYYYYYY about stuff all the time and thus gives me a little understanding on why the hell everyone gets so upset about things that I KNOW BEYOND ALL SHADOW OF A DOUBT WILL BE ABSOLUTELY FINE
then a brief period lasting approx:
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1000 Mirrors - Asian Dub Foun 4:54 Sinead O`Connor
Jade Garden 7:36 Celtic Cross
Slash The Seats 7:17 David Holmes
Flute Thang 4:45 Meat Beat Manifesto
The Lighthouse 3:27 Ana Da Silva
Beached 6:44 Orbital
Mayhew Speaks Out 3:11 The Shamen
Habanera 3:38 Kahimi Karie
Lvblbz 3:51 Gutterbreakz
Big City (Everybody I Know Can Be Found Here) 10:51 Spacemen 3
Things Happen 4:22 COIL Love's Secret Domain
Kiimaniityn Kutsu 2:38 Kemialliset Ystävät
Warum 3:09 Giorgio Moroder
Master Builder 6:05 Gong
A Load Up At Nunney Catch 7:18 OTT
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During which my wife and I seemed to have almost PERFECT CLARITY re our relationships with each other and everyone around us: family, friends, kids etc etc...
This was one of the most perfectly realised hours of my life: a time when two minds synccccccced-up beyond all doubt and....
With clarity: the world (universe?) is like a plate spinning on an almost endless tube - everyone in this circle somewhere in tube, heading upwards: this then is our definition of maturity - how far up the tube you've gone; how many of your friends/family you can see ahead of you in the light and below you in the half-light...
With my wife I digested how close each of our family members / friends were to our inner circle (i.e. how close in the tube journey); concluded with perfect honesty and love that our youngest is already spiritually closest to us, with the others very close behind and sometimes wrestling and sometimes slipping behind and in need of more help and love to keep them on the path.
One of our children is stuck between our spinning plate and another - oscillating wildly. We are nevertheless sure that he will join us very soon and nothing can ever be bad again ever: a total dissolution of worry which seemed to come into being on the night our last child was born; completing the circle...
(Other plates are spinning on different tubes - sometimes people make the jump over to your world, sometimes you make the jump over to theirs -the key seemed to be that the worlds can be at war but don't need to be)
During this time our seven year old came down worrying about dreams of Daleks and we spent a lovely 2 AM talk discussing how our family has a Dr Who style force field all around us that means we can never be harmed by anything and that we can always control the time vortex and simply ATOMISE any monsters away with a single thought...
He went to bed happier than he's ever been. He seemed so certain that things would be okay forever...
then...
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Chaostrophy 5:37 COIL
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Which has come to represent a massive part of my life and lead to a very frank (the first ever really frank) discussion of how much my wife and I missed some of our previous partners - in the process ditching so many of the weirdnesses / jealousies of the past (AT ONE POINT I WAS SURE I MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LITTLE CALIFORNIAN CIRCA 1974)
I mean, how often do you discuss ex-girlfriends with your wife?
then...
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Four Tet - Twenty Three 2:24
We Are One 7:38 Entheogenic
Sundrum Ladies 3:31 Wooden Wand
A Sprinkling Of Clouds 9:03 Gong
Shall We Take A Trip 4:20 Northside
In The Lost Queen's Eyes 2:51 Comus pm
Destination Eschaton (Wiccatron's Offshore Tekfunk Edit) 4:35 The Shamen
Pick up (Fourtet mix) 7:11 Bonobo Zen Rmx -
Leysh Nat Arak 5:07 Natacha Atlas
Adrenalin 4:01 Throbbing Gristle
Keeping the Wolves From the Do 3:12 White Magic
Once Upon The Sea Of Blissful 7:30 Shpongle
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida 17:02 Iron Butterfly
Clouds Without Water 2:38 Psychic TV
Aquarius Rising 1:36 Thee Loaded Angels
Bon Voyage Au LSD 17:27 Acid Mothers Temple
Gloria 7:13 The Doors
Snow Falls Into Military Temples 16:50 COIL
Lovely Chimps 5:13 Chimp Beams
Teenage Lightning 2 5:09 COIL
CARIBOU-Barnowl 5:50 Caribou
No Idea 5:59 Earth Leakage Trip
Balkan Red Alert 4:59 Alligator Shear
Swallow Song 2:13 Vashti Bunyan
Thoughts For Naught 1:32 Gong
The Dead Side Of The Moon 21:59 Steven Stapleton & David Tibet
Ecstasy Symphony / Transparent Radiation (Flashback) 9:51 Spacemen 3
armadillo stance 5:04 manorexia
Constant High (Groove On) 2:44 Psychic TV U
A Hawk And A Hacksaw 4:37 Maremaillette
Here She Comes Now 2:04 The Velvet Underground
Irreversible Neural Damage 5:56 Kevin Ayers The Best Of Kevin Ayers
Cre 19:11 Dada IX Tab
Beija Flor 10:59 Shpongle
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which was full of conversations I can't remember and lots of pitta bread and dips as dawn approached...
then....
The Wicker Man of Work reared it's ugly head and I had to go and teach some 17 year olds how the mind works...
5 comments:
blimey, the things you and your missus get up to! Hope my uncharacteristicly trippy turntable experiment helped you along the way to 'perfect clarity'. there's some bits of me talking with my dad in 1977 near the end. nice to know someone actually listens to these things.
of course they listen... i listen to everything I can...though the download queue is getting longer and longer as time goes on... maybe one day Broadband will enlighten my life (or people will start sending CDRs!!)
really liked that track and it fitted in well with the night's laidback mix...
the bandwidth activity at my server has been phenomenal recently, due mainly to some big mixes from Distance, Kamelian etc. 74 GB transferred in the past 30 days. you need that braodband, dude!
Hahahaha....In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida ! You'll be wanting to come and see Circle with me in a couple weeks then, Loki....
where are they playing?
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